Oh wow!!!!! I have made it through my first week as a sober individual. I have even managed a weekend away with 15 other people drinking to celebrate my brother’s 50th. I thought I’d be absolutely buzzing but in all honesty I’m totally exhausted. It’s wiped me out. Is that normal? Maybe it’s the amount of energy required to keep myself off it, especially when it’s all around me. Or maybe it’s my body now trying to get used to no alcohol, wondering what the bloody hell is going on.
I felt really good yesterday and have generally felt much better in the mornings. My sleep is still quite disrupted, which surprises me. I actually wake around 5am feeling like I have a mild hangover .. I have to tell myself it can’t be the case. I guess all this is part of the early journey and I just have to go with the flow. I can’t say ‘going with the flow’ is particularly easy for me but I have to learn I can’t control everything in life, so best start getting used to that now I suppose.
I do feel like I’m a bit on the boring side when I’m not drinking and I don’t feel as relaxed in a social situation, but maybe that was because I didn’t really know many people very well. I’m trying not to over think it (as I normally do) and simply congratulate myself on succeeding. I also noticed, looking from the outside in, how little some people actually drink. Particularly the women that were there. I mean, they maybe had 3 glasses of wine, 4 at the most, the ENTIRE evening. When I drank, I assumed everyone had the same amount. Nope, that was clearly just me on my second bottle.
Anyway, my blog isn’t going to be as eloquent, funny or insightful as many others. My posts will generally just be a few thoughts and my attempts to process feelings and situations, but I hope those of you that read them will stick with me. One thing that has astounded me is how absolutely lovely people are on here. The support you have already given me and the way you help and support each other is truly impressive and so valuable. A particular shout out to Jim, a fellow Brit, who took me under his wing a few days ago and has truly made a difference to how I managed this (Thanks Jim and congrats on achieving your personal milestone today).
My second week starts here and I’m looking forward to finding out what other positive things AF brings me.