Sundays.

Sunday morning, two weeks on from my start of this sobriety journey and I’m up early, thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet whilst everyone else is sleeping. I woke at 7am. Instead of pulling the covers over my head, attempting to blot out what I’d said or done the night before and wishing I was in someone else’s head and life, I simply got up. Now, I know that’s probably what many other people do on a day to day basis and it may not seem like much of an achievement but for me its a huge step. My mornings (particularly at the weekend when I don’t have work) have generally been spent laying in bed, feeling bloody awful about pretty much everything. The overthinking I do laying there can go on for hours, as I will myself to go back to sleep and shut the whole thing down. My husband has constantly cajoled me to try and get up, promising me I’d feel better once I did. I just couldn’t. I was opting out, living in my own mind and, although I never really understood what being ‘present’ actually meant, I now know I was the exact opposite.

It was rare that I wouldn’t have drunk a bottle (plus) of wine the night before, but on the odd occasion I had managed only a few, I still felt just as awful. So, it couldn’t be the alcohol right? It must be something else. There must be something wrong with me or my life. Well surprise surprise, it was the alcohol!!! Who knew? (a fair few people it turns out). I realise that giving it up isn’t going to solve everything and that 2 weeks is just the very tip of the challenges I am going to have to face. I also know I have certain aspects of my life and myself that need a bit of work and some TLC. At least now I can start to do that work with a clear mind and a calm approach. The racing brain has put on the breaks for now and I have a wonderful feeling of peace.

My husband and I went out yesterday evening with good friends of ours. We had a few drinks (peroni libera for me!) whilst our two boys stayed home with their two and played on their variety of consoles. We then all had food and more drinks at their house. I had a lovely evening AF. As we walked home later my 15 year old turned and asked me, “Mum, did you not drink any alcohol tonight?” (I have been honest and told him I have given it up). I replied, “No, I had my non alcohol drinks”. He said, “That’s really cool” and put his arm round me. Enough said I think.

So here I am, 2 hours already under my belt and its only 9am. I can hear the house stirring so I’ll shock the hell out of them all and cook a lovely breakfast. I can’t tell you how good it feels to be in this position.

Thanks all of you for following, commenting and supporting. You have given me Sundays again.

Claire xx

21 thoughts on “Sundays.”

  1. That is amazing…. and you have four boys too! So wonderful that your 15yo supported you like that… and that you are *doing* this thing. The whole family is benefitting in countless ways. Kudos and hooray, happy Sunday dear Claire 😊🎉🙌☀️🌱😇💖🎂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Kids really do notice. Takes a lot to impress a teenager. Well done.
    The way you describe getting up on a Sunday morning, I get that. It is a big deal. I am trying to switch to being a morning person. Not there yet. Certainly not bouncing out of bed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sadly I don’t think I’ve been the best role model in recent years but as C.S. Lewis said “you can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending”. Time for me to do that methinks. Xx

      Liked by 2 people

  3. That brough me close to tears, visializing your son putting his arm around you. That’s what it’s all about, Claire, this sobriety stuff…and getting such wonderful feedback like that is a great bonus. Nice to meet you here on WordPress! This is a great, very supportive community. Welcome! ((((Hugs)))) 👍💜 (purple heart for those wounded by alcohol).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. 2 whole weeks!! yay!!! hey, celebrate it like a boss!( huge cupcake?) I still remember counting the days, then weeks, then months..i did as much as i could to reward myself in healthy ways. Sounds like your kid rewarded you also:) Man, if you would have read some of my private blog posts the first few weeks you would have probably blocked any further contact( psycho)..haha..seriously, i was bonkers! but those little celebrations, and rewards were big help in the early days, especially when everyone else was getting tired of hearing me talk about my recovery…hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jacquelyn
      How did your weekend go? Did you get your dinner cooked? I must admit a struggled yesterday evening. I think cooking in the kitchen when everyone else is doing their own thing is a big trigger time for me. I managed to stick to peroni Libera (0%) though 😅 xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey Claire! I just blogged about that dinner and now I can’t find it. 😂 I screwed up and had two drinks. Ugh. Did me no good so here I am starting my streak back again! Even just having a couple drinks isn’t worth it anymore to me. At my age it just makes me tired. When I was younger it gave me energy and it made me more silly. So glad we are sharing our journeys together!! 😍

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well don’t beat yourself up and great that you are starting again. I think your post just appeared so I’ll read it now. It’s so bloody tough and I was a bit cross last night that I can’t just have one glass and stop. But I can’t so no point griping about it.

        Glad we are in this together too. ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

    1. You know, both of my boys have told my parents (on separate occasions) that I’m not drinking alcohol. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal to them … too much time spent living in my wine world clearly!! 😄

      Liked by 1 person

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