The girl did good!

Well, it once seemed such an impossibility and an insurmountable challenge but I’m delighted and proud to tell you, my blogging pals, that I have now not touched a drop of alcohol for exactly ONE MONTH (I felt capitals were apt here!). Like, a whole god damn month!!!!!! Who would have thought?? Certainly not me (or to be fair, anyone who knew me!). However, here I am, one month on, sober and still standing. It’s probably a good time to consider what’s happened in just one month:

1. I now sleep! I still wake in the night but don’t lie there for hours feeling shocking and reliving past events or worrying about future ones.

2. I no longer wake up in the early hours bargaining with myself not to drink later that day or this week or until Thursday .. only to then let myself down every single time!

3. I haven’t had a single hangover for an ENTIRE MONTH!!! I do still have headaches, which may be related to not enough water and too much caffeine, but compared to wasting days, feeling like shit, with no energy for anything, it’s small fry.

4. I enjoy mornings. I am actually a ‘morning person’ …. who knew? All these years I’ve said I’m a night owl and it was bollocks. Utter rubbish. I especially love Sunday mornings. Quiet and peaceful, just me, myself and I, before everyone else stirs. Bliss.

5. I am calm. My mind is not frantic. I’m still emotional and I’ll cry at the drop of a hat, but it’s good emotions. Positive.

6. My anxiety and depression has finally lifted. I’m still taking my anti depressants as I was before but that great black cloud that sat above me and the feelings of panic that washed over me have all but disappeared. I still feel down at times and I still worry about stuff but it doesn’t take hold like it did. I can manage it. The more I deal with it, the less it happens.

7. I am less of a people pleaser and my self esteem has returned …. at long last. I am starting, slowly, to identify those that are important in my life, who truly care for and love me. The opposite is true, I am beginning to recognise the people that took advantage, who always put their needs first and never truly bothered about my feelings. I am saying goodbye to some of those people and I am learning to step back from others who have the capacity to hurt me.

8. I am engaging with my family. I have made far more effort with my mum and have started to rebuild our relationship, which was gradually falling apart. My two boys finally have their mum back and are so proud that I don’t drink alcohol. I do wish they wouldn’t share my sobriety with everyone we know but I guess if they want to shout it from the rooftops then who am I to stop them?

9. I have realised, through the love and support of a very dear friend, that I am a kind person, a good mum, a decent human being and, though I make mistakes, I am worth people loving and caring for me. I deserve it!

10. I am sober and I intend to remain that way. I don’t feel as though I have given anything up. Instead, I feel I’ve given myself a chance at enjoying life again.

So, I have listed just 10 of many, many positives that removing alcohol from my life has given me. What an amazing Christmas gift I gave myself when I decided to start this journey. Lastly, I want to thank all of you on here for reading my posts up until now, for liking them and commenting. I would not be here if it wasn’t for my ‘sober pals’ and I’m so grateful to you all.

Now for my next month ….

Love, hugs and thanks

Claire xxx

20 thoughts on “The girl did good!”

  1. Great stuff Claire. Congratulations on one month. A great achievement especially in the run up to Christmas. So many tangible benefits and the impact it has had on your anxiety and depression are fantastic consequences on their own. A lovely post showing how someone can really grow and develop. Well done
    Jim x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. and a most excellent Christmas Gift to yourself!! Congrats !!! I did the same at my 30 days ( self assessment) then again at 60, 120 and so on..here’s to a great accomplishment – Cheeers!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. YES YES YES !!! Congratulations on one month Claire, that’s HUGE !!!! 🙂 And I was really really moved when I saw how naturally this came to you (I’m still working on it) : ” I have realised, through the love and support of a very dear friend, that I am a kind person, a good mum, a decent human being and, though I make mistakes, I am worth people loving and caring for me. I deserve it!” You DO deserve it and you are such a wonderful human !!!! Keep going, you’re doing really great !! xoxoxo Anne

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have to be totally honest, it doesn’t come naturally really. I have lots of self doubt and self analysis and I regularly beat myself up for not being good enough or perfect. But I am starting to listen to and believe those people who know and love me. That was the first step for me.
      Thanks for commenting, it means a lot xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hahaha awww that just means you are human like the rest of us 😉 What matters is that we are working towards loving our selves more, which I think anyone with addiction issues should work towards. And yes, a lot of it has to do with believing people when they say nice things, taking compliments, etc. 🙂 So here’s one: Claire you are a wonderful beautiful human being who deserves to love herself and be loved by others !!! There ! Now you have another one to listen to/believe 😉 xoxoxo Anne

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Woo Hoo!
    Happy Dance for you from Minnesota!
    💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you 🦄 🤗
        yes, have to admit my attention has been away from sobriety blogland for awhile. Hoping to catch up on other posts in the zone very soon. I love this crew. 💛

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You can’t do everything!! Other things need to take priority sometimes. It’s just lovely to hear from people and see how they are getting on and what they’re up to. Even if not related to sobriety. We are all much more than just our sobriety!!!!
        🦄🤗😘

        Liked by 1 person

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