Easter kindness

I have to say, I don’t always find writing on my own blog very easy. I love reading other people’s and commenting but I just can’t seem to find the right words for my own post. Having said that, I’ve sat myself down in front of the lap top and I think I’m just going to chat about my Easter weekend. Just roll that dice, take a chance and have a ramble!

On Friday (Good Friday) it was a luxury to wake up late and not have to switch on my work laptop or check my phone for work emails. I have been grateful for work in recent weeks, its kept me occupied and stopped me descending into the Claire world of over thinking life, the universe and everything. I was so exhausted by Friday though and I made a purposeful decision to not ‘work’ at all for the Easter break. I lounged about in the morning, drinking tea, reading blogs and catching up with friends via what’s app. Then I went into the garden. Boy did I go wild in the wilds of our little oasis. The bushes and trees that run the length of the left hand side have not been touched since we moved in … 16 years ago!!! Once I start, I’m unstoppable. I pulled out weeds, that then suddenly became whole shrubs. There were trees with stumps as big as a bowling ball that came out in my hand when I pulled … because they were dead! I left huge gaping holes in the bushes. The neighbours are going to be delighted we can watch them sunbathe and also see what they are up to in the kitchen. Literally 3 days of cutting, pulling and bashing and its still no where near finished. You can imagine the pile of garden waste that now sits under, behind and in front of the trampoline. Oh and no garden waste collection (I forgot to renew it) and no refuge centres open. Oooooops. My husband is still not really speaking to me!

The gaping hole where the holy bush once stood.
Look what I did!!!

On Friday night we had a family quiz with my ‘in laws’ using Zoom. It was great fun. My parents joined in but I think I’m going to ban them from any similar activities until they agree to have their hearing tested. Multiple repetitions of each question becomes rather …. repetitive. By the end of the game people were clearly drunk, falling around and shouting at their respective devices. I sipped my alcohol free wine and was thankful that I gave it all up nearly 5 months ago. Sobriety has enabled me to cope with this lockdown and Covid-19 situation with a positivity and calmness than would not have been possible had I been still addicted to wine. Sure, I have bad days, but as Anna (Storm In A Wine Glass) said in her recent post ” I realise how my worst day sober is still a million times better than my best day drunk.”

Saturday and Sunday followed much the same pattern. Lots of gardening (well, destruction and demolition), chilled out lazy mornings and a trip to the supermarket for our food shop and one the for lady down the road. I arrived home from delivering her groceries to a little ‘care package’ left on my door step by my brother and his partner. He lives about a 40 minute drive away and had made the journey over to bring me some gorgeous goodies and treats. Their kindness overwhelmed me and I already knew I had a wonderful brother, but he really is the bee’s knees. I started thinking about ‘kindness’ after I’d checked out all the little gifts. It’s a quality I value greatly and true kindness is really a beautiful thing when it happens. I’ve had a lot of criticism throughout my life. Self-criticism, overt criticism, ‘subtle’ criticism and criticism meant to be constructive but really not. It has led to me being a little too judgemental and often having mean and unkind thoughts about others. In the past I have slipped into, not particularly nice, conversations about certain people and not really given it much thought. Since ditching the booze I have made a conscious effort to not do any of this, practicing kindness in how I act, behave and think. It’s actually an easier way of being. I still can find people irritating as hell and that’s ok. I’m not super human and people piss me off. I am, however, more able to understand a situation. I’m less bitter and resentful of what other’s have and do and I’m more at peace with my own world. In a selfish way, being kinder towards others has improved my ability to be kinder to myself. It’s a quality I want to instil in my boys. Plus you get really cute little gifts every now and then too!! Its a win win.

My little treats in the ‘care package’

Today, Monday, I have stayed out of the garden and left my husband to try and salvage something from the wreckage. I ran 5 miles and cleaned the house. I’ve made a tandoori chicken and rice tea for the boys and now I am sat typing this blog. My life is so different than it was 6 months ago. I am living under government restrictions but I am the most free I have been in a very long time. That’s a lovely feeling and I am going to savour the moment as my first sober Easter weekend draws to a close.

Love Claire xx

Cows spotted on my run, not following social distancing rules.

31 thoughts on “Easter kindness”

  1. What a nice brother you have and I loved that line about feeling free despite the restrictions. Really interesting how we can feel liberated in restrictive circumstances. You’ve unshackled yourself from booze and a lot more judging by your post , and as you say kindness begets kindness. Maybe your work on the garden is some kind of metaphor for what’s happening in your life and your heart? Jim x

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Maybe it is Jim. I’ve certainly been clearing things out of my life that has let me see more clearly what I want and need. Work in progress … like the garden! 😉
      Sending hugs 🤗
      Claire x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Aww Claire what a lovely, lovely post. I love your honesty about previously being criticised and how it made you. This is bizarre because I was the same. Perhaps I’m remembering it wrongly, but my mother always criticised me … I shouldn’t speak ill of thee dead, but it was always the same … “Silly Katie, oh Katie can’t do that, poor little Katie, Katie wouldn’t be able to do that” … in the end, I truly believed I couldn’t do f***k. Excuse the language. And if I couldn’t do stuff then why should anyone else be able to?! You can see I’ve had issues! Anyway, enough of all my nonsense, I loved your post … where abouts are the photos … they’re lovely! Kx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was the same. My mum loves me with all her heart but she was often critical. I find my husband can be like it sometimes, unknowingly I think. It does rub off and I have to make a definite effort to not be like it with my boys. It’s made me judgemental and bitter but I’m changing that now.

      The photos are from around where I live in the West Midlands, UK. X

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s so good that you make the effort not to be like that with your boys. Weirdly my husband is the same. I point it out to him and every time he criticises me, I tell him he now has to say something nice. We then laugh about it, but I wonder if he realises how often he does it. I too make a point of not doing it to my boys. They’re lovely photos … thanks so much for sharing them. Kx

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I think it becomes a habit. Criticising others, or seeing the negative in people’s actions or behaviour. We are often unaware of it. Now it’s in my awareness I find I try to turn it around. It makes me feel so much better. Thanks for your comments. Really appreciated x

        Liked by 1 person

      1. It is hard. A little crazy, but mostly ok. I will try to post soon. I’ve had a ton of work which is both good and bad. Take care! It’s so fantastic your running, by the way. 👍🏻🌱

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The lovely privacy hedge can always grow back, stronger and healthier. Criticism is always hard to take; I can relate. So nice that your brother and his partner dropped off a care package.
    I agree with the others, great ramblings, great photos, loving sharings… lovely post, Claire. 💛😊 :)))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah thanks .. that’s a great metaphor too. The lovely trees had been killed or damaged by so many weeds and nasties. It was time to clear it and rescue what was still trying to survive. I never considered that process to be like life .. but it is!
      Sending hugs 🤗 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Well those ramblings worked for me. Criticism eventually gets to us all but you got through that. Your running for miles, attacking the garden, remembering to live. All without the jungle juice. I really hope you find time to post more often. Your so good at this. xxx
    Next you will be able to balance as good as me………

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love this post so much, Claire 🙂 Your brother doing that was adorable and you definitely deserve it! As for the kindness, don’t worry, it didn’t take us having to read it coming from you to notice 🙂 your kindness transpires through every one of your posts, and it’s palpable in the way you express yourself and think:) Except if you happen to be a garden shrub/bush…. in that case expect zero kindness, and terrible devastation and a sudden/painful death by pulling 😉 ❤ xoxoxox Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahhhhhh ☺️☺️ you are so lovely to me Anne. My brother is adorable. He’s a good egg. Yep, I have shown no mercy when it comes to the trees, shrubs and bushes. They’ve witnessed the aggressive and ruthless side of Claire this past few days! Xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You may some times struggle to find the words but when you do, they’re wonderful. I love reading these beautiful insights into you life; thank you for continuing to share them x

    Liked by 1 person

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