Monday Musings

Life has been fairly quiet in my little corner of the world. Work continues to be as crazy as ever with no sign of let up and no sign of me being paid the equal pay for my additional role. Otherwise, no dramas to report. Which is nice. I feel stable for the first time in a while. I did completely forget to take my antidepressants for a week (don’t ask me how, to this day I don’t know). That was a few weeks back and believe me the ‘withdrawal’ made me feel so ill (physically and mentally) I know I will never just ‘stop’ taking them suddenly. I can fully understand why the advice is to lower your dose slowly and wean off them very very gently. The cycle of on/off/on/off would be a dead cert if you simply stop one day.

Anyhoo, I have recovered from that little mishap and back taking the SSRIs regularly and I now feel level again. I have struggled with energy levels in recent weeks but I don’t think I’m alone in that. There are some days when I just want to curl up under my duvet and sleep and there are some days when I have done just that. Before you report me to social services, I have fed and watered my two boys, the house is clean and shopping is done. But I then tend to ‘give up’ on any other plans over and above the daily survival routine and I sleep.

That lethargy seems to be reducing now and I do have more energy although I can sleep in so long at the weekend I’d give any teenager a run for their money. Is this a sign of menopause? I blame everything on the ever approaching menopause. Shitty mood? Menopause is coming. Eating my own weight in chocolate? Peri menopausal for sure. Weight gain? Time of life fast approaching. No energy? It’s the change. Don’t want to do any yoga? Understandable with those hormones flying around. Aches and pains? Nothing to do with the truck loads of sugar I had the night before … it’s the bloody menopause.

That said though, it is a horrible time for women and though I still may be a little way off, I’m not looking forward to it. My GP says the low mood, anxiety and periods of depression could well be related to the hormone changes as I approach that time. The antidepressants help considerably and my doctor says it’s what he prescribed for many women going through menopause, so I feel I’m ok for now. I can re-evaluate as time goes on I guess.

I have managed to continue with my yoga practice and when life settles down in terms of covid and restrictions I would love to train to teach yoga. Please don’t imagine that I’m some flexible zen yogi master after 7 months of home practice. I’m really not. I can barely get onto some poses and the inverted balancing ones are out of my league. But I think there must be scope for a person of 48 to teach others that it’s ok to not be able to touch your toes, you can still join in and reap the benefits.

So, I’m building my ‘to do’ list for future Claire. Teaching yoga and volunteering for the Samaritans or a similar support charity. I’d like to learn to dance and to one day act. Maybe even take singing lessons. I’m slowly creating a bucket list. My new bike is on it but hasn’t arrived yet. Oh, and that dog that I will have one day, when I can give it the time it deserves and needs. The list is getting longer by the day. It’s good to have plans and dreams I think. I’m adding to mine constantly. Make sure you add to yours too.

Claire x

37 thoughts on “Monday Musings”

    1. Thanks DGS. I agree, I have been put off yoga by the thought of bendy flexible young bods. I wish I had been brave and started it years ago. Happy and grateful I have found it now though. When the restrictions stop I am definitely booking a yoga retreat. 😁🧘💆🏼‍♀️💕

      Like

  1. Love this bucket list then the picture of the bucket. I’d love to do a marathon someday and have a few more adventures. Id also love a lie in 😂Would love you to teach my yoga too. Always feel intimidated by these gym bunnies ♡♡

    Like

    1. Ahh, you’ll get lie ins again. It is lovely to not be up at 5am watching CBeebies 😂. I remember the days I used to do that with a steaming hangover too. Ugh 😫. A marathon eh? We’ll get you training as soon as you can get out there. I’ll teach you yoga anytime. I fall over quite a lot though 😁❤️💕

      Like

  2. Just a little note. I am menopausal (I had a blood test done because I was only having one symptom-no longer monthly) and I have to tell you I have been having no issues. Neither have my girl friends who also have begun menopause. I have the occasional hot flash that lasts maybe a minute or so. Irritable but that is just because of my job and people I deal with. Otherwise my energy level is high but I also take Vitamin B 5000mg daily (timed release) and it is amazing.
    This time of year is ick and temp changes/time changes all that fun stuff can have bearing too as does not taking your meds!!!!! Bad bad bad! (I am teasing of course)
    You take each day at a time. And if you need to sleep you need to sleep. It is not as though you are neglecting anything. I would consider what you are doing self care. Eventually you will discover your groove and be off and running.
    I am terribly sorry I tend to abscond with the comment section once I start.
    Hope your Monday was good.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Abscond away … I love a good runaway comment. Yep, the meds think was so silly. I don’t know how I missed a week. A day maybe, but a week! I couldn’t work out why I was feeling so awful. Back on track now though. Good to hear you and your friends haven’t had issues. Gives me hope. Though that means I’m a moody old meanie just because I am 😂. Thanks for the comment. Hope you had a good Monday too. 😊

      Like

  3. I’d love to say I know what you’re going through re the menopause but that would be a blatant lie. As a bloke I’ll just pass on that one but your bucket list sounds great and as someone who tried yoga once and still flinches at the excruciatingly embarrassing memory , I will give it another go if you become a yoga teacher. Maybe this time round I’d enjoy it. Will I get a discount as a fellow blogger😉 Lovely post though Claire X

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love it! Those all sound healthy and brave and life-affirming. Now you’ve put it out there, we will expect to see you singing/dancing/acting/biking/yoga instructing and pet owning in the future. One beautiful dream at a time. A world of possibilities, now that we are present and intentional with our lives. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like to set myself big challenges 😂
      It’s nice to feel there are new things on the horizon though. Now I have all this time not wasted by drinking, waiting to drink, or feeling terrible after drinking … it has opened up space for new adventures. 💕💕

      Liked by 1 person

  5. OMG Claireeeeeee yoga teacher training is SUCH a great idea! My teacher role model (Leslie Fightmaster) must be in her 50s by now and she is all about “it’s not about the pose, come as you are” and I think we need a LOT more of that mindset in yoga. You’d be such a wonderful teacher. A friend of mine is actually using the covid time to her best advantage by doing a 200 hour online teacher training right now (and she can’t do all the inversions either, you definitely don’t need to know how to do handstands to teach yoga). She’s doing it all from her living room 🙂 I think she’s doing the Alo Moves training, with Carling Harp. (I’m not sure about the name of the training but Carling Harp is definitely the teacher). Mind you, I am sure there are hundreds of great training programs online these days. I’m super jealous, a part of me really wants to do that too (especially from my own home^^) but first I need to make some $$$$$$ 🙂 Anyway I’m so glad you’re feeling stable (and I CAN’T BELIEVE you went a whole week without ADs , didn’t you notice the difference? hahahahaha that’s incredible!!). Sending big hugs and so inspired by your bucket list I might make one of my own 🙂 xxxx ❤ Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am going to look up online training later today. I never even thought about that.

      I started to feel terrible about 4 days after no meds. Just lots of headaches and really tired. Then the anxiety hit and OMG it was awful. I was physical shaking with the jitters. I felt nauseous and then one day I was in bed all day. That’s when I suddenly realised. I could not believe it.

      We can be yoga teaching, dog owners together some day. ❤️💕😘

      Like

      1. oh dear that sounds plain terrible!!! wow so weaning off of them slowly is super important. I’m sorry you had to learn that the tough way though!!! yes pleaaaaase let’s be yoga teaching dog owners !!! xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Feeling stable and looking forward to new endeavors is a very good thing. I keep adding/erasing off mine instead of just jumping in and doing. Keep getting your rest and push these men in your life to help more! It won’t hurt them and believe me we need a big nudge now and then.😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are right Dwight. My counsellor told me once I need to allow others to take control and do things. I have stepped in too often. Things are improving in that area though because I am better at saying ‘no’. I too have lots of plans and then never follow them through. We need to have a realistic goal each and a date to work to. Keep each other accountable! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I swear I commented on this post last night! I was getting tired, laying in bed and maybe didn’t hit send. It was near 11pm and I did have a long work day. Anywho-oh that pre-menopause does make us so tired! I do well during the week as I’m working and moving a lot but as soon as the weekend hits I want to watch Netflix with my hubby or a movie and I end up falling asleep! Drives me insane!
    I really like your bucket list idea! I just started a wish to do list for next week. Hubby is going out of town and first on my list is finish my bathroom paint project that’s been going on for weeks. That would make me feel good to have that just done.
    I can totally see you teaching yoga! That’s just a splendid idea to look into!! I’m sending you lots of love and encouragement!! ❤️😘❤️😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey you. Yep the weekends are when the fatigue hits me hard too. I have some house jobs to sort but I can see them slipping off the list this week. It does feel good when we get stuff done though. I have two days off this week and I’m determined to tick a few things off. I’m also going to look into online yoga teaching programmes for the new year. Xx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. have posted numerous times on the evils of menopause, and will likely continue to…there’s a lot of validity to all the multiple symptoms we go through. I am halfway through my second bucket list and will continue to pursue some of the rest of it…however since i made that second list about 7 years ago,i may have to change a few things in light of wisdom and aging…lol..great post!

    Like

    1. Thanks Lovie. Never had a bucket list but it’s nice to start one, no matter how far fetched some of the dreams are. Helps us look forward which is important sometimes.

      Like

  9. It’s funny – I’ve been thinking a lot about the bucket list items these days, too. I love planning for the future – it especially helps now when the things I can actually do are so limited. I love your idea to teach yoga! That would be fabulous. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, it somehow feels really important to have some plans, short and longer term. We are about to go back into national lockdown of sorts on Thursday and I’m going to definitely start planning ahead for when things get better. They will xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I LOVE your bucket list- it sounds amazing. Please diversify yoga! I know what you mean about the popular Western conception out there but I can think of a number of yoga instructors of a broad range of ages and bodily form, whom I know personally, who defy the conception. You would be great, I’m sure! And I just have to comment on your fabulous paragragh wherein you blame approaching menopause for a list of things: LOL. SO glad I’m not the only one. At 36, I suppose I’m too young, but I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS CHANGING. And a lot of random symptoms I’ve looked up fall under peri-menopause. Anyway, I loved your writing – so well done. Hugs<3

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s