It’s just past midnight here and I’ve put out the presents, set the table with crackers etc and it’s all looking very festive. I’m excited for my boys to see and open their presents in the morning and I’m actually really looking forward to a day of total R&R.
I’ve had a bit of a tough time emotionally these past few days. I won’t go into the detail. It isn’t really relevant. What I have learnt is this: when I am not drowning out the difficult stuff with alcohol, the pain feels intense and raw but it actually can be managed and dealt with. The anxiety and sadness don’t overwhelm me like I have always feared they will. The feelings come and they go; they ebb and flow. When I drank, those feeling were numbed for a short while but then they became cemented, entrenched and part of my make up. I could never shake them off like I can now. This is a really important lesson for me to have learnt. If I sit with the emotions I don’t like, they will eventually pass.
So, as I turn out the light and look forward to my second sober Christmas Day, I am once again reminded that kicking the drink has given me many gifts. I am so grateful for them all.
Happy Christmas to my lovely blogging community. You are awesome.