Happy Christmas

It’s just past midnight here and I’ve put out the presents, set the table with crackers etc and it’s all looking very festive. I’m excited for my boys to see and open their presents in the morning and I’m actually really looking forward to a day of total R&R.

I’ve had a bit of a tough time emotionally these past few days. I won’t go into the detail. It isn’t really relevant. What I have learnt is this: when I am not drowning out the difficult stuff with alcohol, the pain feels intense and raw but it actually can be managed and dealt with. The anxiety and sadness don’t overwhelm me like I have always feared they will. The feelings come and they go; they ebb and flow. When I drank, those feeling were numbed for a short while but then they became cemented, entrenched and part of my make up. I could never shake them off like I can now. This is a really important lesson for me to have learnt. If I sit with the emotions I don’t like, they will eventually pass.

So, as I turn out the light and look forward to my second sober Christmas Day, I am once again reminded that kicking the drink has given me many gifts. I am so grateful for them all.

Happy Christmas to my lovely blogging community. You are awesome.

Claire x

29 thoughts on “Happy Christmas”

  1. Hi Claire!! So good to see you and the other sober warriors!! Looking to get back here- just been so resistant to writing anything. Even journaling. Learning to sit with all the emotions is key…. the more I try to resist, the stronger and more unpleasant they seem to become. I’m also working on building myself a “container”- an image of a beautiful clay pot inside me where I can keep them if they arise inconveniently – been oh so helpful in keeping from discharging my crap into the world. It’s def been a roller coaster year. Wonderful post! You sound solid, sister!!

    Like

  2. Happy Xmas Claire! (Sorry for the late comment!) I hope you had a beautiful Christmas Day. I always think of England at this time of year because we’re probably the only ones in France to do crackers, Xmas cake and pudding, and follow Delia religiously all throughout the prep on the 25th 🙂 Also, the lesson you mention in this post is probably one of the most important ones I have ever learnt in my life, and continue to learn anew, every – single – day – 🙂 happy new Year and big bug hugs to you and your family ❤ xoxoxo Anne

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s