Long time no see, hear or read

I know it’s been far too long since I have written a post for my blog. I know how it feels when people you communicate with regularly on WP suddenly ‘disappear’. I know how much support and comfort my blogging tribe have given me over the past 20 months. I know all this and yet I have found it really hard to put pen to paper, or finger to keypad, and the more time that passes, the harder it becomes.

I am continuing to read posts and comment. I want to connect with and support my lovely friends on here and I really enjoy catching up with them. I find others’ posts stimulate lots of thoughts and changes for me. I just appear to have a mental block when it comes to writing my own ideas down. I guess a fair bit of my working life involves writing. Patient reports, letters, emails, documents, business cases. It can take the love out of writing. It’s a shame because I do find it extremely therapeutic and I honestly believe that without my blog I would not have achieved and maintained sobriety.

Yep, I am still AF! 20 months today actually. It’s still absolutely the right choice for me but that’s not to say I don’t continue to battle with the drinking demon voices. They come out to play and taunt me from time to time. I find that a lovely tasty AF drink takes the edge off the psychological craving. Some bars and restaurants are developing their range of mocktails and AF drinks which makes a huge difference. Sadly others seem to be stuck in the ‘becks blue’ and soft drink only days. I avoid those places like the plague. I still, as I always have, take it one day at a time and I never say it’s forever. It’s for today.

My depression (and sometimes anxiety) still like to visit me on occasion. Good of them both to hang around and keep a close eye on me! I have had a few ongoing health issues over the past couple of years … both with my mental and physical health. Nothing sinister and all manageable but enough to start me thinking I might be coming apart at the seams a little. Recent media coverage of the peri-menopause and menopause led to me contacting my GP about these various ailments. Rather than calling me a complete hypochondriac and sending me on my way, she listened and agreed that, at 49 years old, it was likely my hormones were running riot, having a little ‘reverse puberty’ party and causing me to feel, well, a bit crap. I’m going to try HRT. See how it goes and then potentially come off my antidepressants. It’s all so very exciting being a woman approaching 50. Some days I can’t believe my luck.

It’s now 1.20am on Sunday morning and I probably should try to sleep. The weather over here in the UK is lovely but very hot. We aren’t really used to it and what with my hot flushes, aching limbs and pins and needles … high temperatures mean catching zeds is not very achievable. It’s Sunday though so a siesta is definitely on the agenda later. Enough rambling. I’m sure everyone is hoping I’ll take another long sabbatical from writing after getting to the end of this post!! 😄

Happy Sunday all. Relax and enjoy 💕

Love Claire x

25 thoughts on “Long time no see, hear or read”

  1. it’s so good to see a post from you. I have totally been at a loss as to what to write about. It’s like there’s so much and so very little. Can identify with the peri menopause thing ( still) and yet it seems i cant even write about it( or anything else) in any interesting way as of late. I wonder if they will someday develop a post pandemic syndrome diagnosis . I have noted many on hear have dropped out of site in that past few months.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Agreed 100%. I think the longer you leave it the more difficult it becomes. But I do think it’s a positive habit to develop and is helpful for me personally. Maybe we worry too much about being ‘interesting’ and should just go for it! I think I’ll try to get into the swing of it again. Thanks for the comment Lovie. Hope you are ok xx

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m not looking forward to menopause. I’m enough of a mess already without that freight train plowing through.

    Someone else from that side of the pond also referred to catching zeds recently. In Canada we say zed, but at least in my head, I would talk about catching zzz’s as catching zees. I’m not sure if that’s a me thing or a Canadian thing. Huh…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have been missing you my friend. And omg are we the same person in different countries? I finished my writer’s block. Or kinda did not sure. But the menopause and hot flashes; the aches and pains that appear out of nowhere I am right there with you. Take your time we shall be here when you are able to return. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That is yucky. It does pass though. Cycles I find. My night sweats have tapered off solely because I sleep with a fan on and in shorts and a tank top. My hot flashes kill me at work with mask on. 😂😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh god yes … me too! The other day I was stood in the office with the fan blasting at me for 20 mins and everyone just politely ignoring my weirdness 🤣

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      3. Lol I am lucky I have coolers and freezers available in the back at work that I can dart into. But I have gone from being the one who is always cold to barely wearing a jacket when it is freezing for everyone. This new infernal temperature (he he he pun intended) drives me a little crazy.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I told my husband earlier that I was going to go and stand in the frozen section of the supermarket isle for an hour or so! 😄😄🥵

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      5. Lol oh I hear you. I get weird looks from my co-workers when they come in freezer and I am just stood there. Answering cooling off in response to what are you doing leads to all sorts of comical faces.🤣🤣🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey you!! Gosh I can relate to the peri menopause! Driving me nuts these days. So awesome on your continued sobriety! I messed up last night and I’m not going to beat myself up over it but also not liking that crappy morning feeling. There’s a reason I like my AF days so onward and upward! I haven’t blogged a bit on here until this morning. I have started some but then they seem so mundane. So glad for your update and I will always cherish you for helping me get where I am today! 😘😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah thanks 😊
      I just read your post and commented, the same time you were writing in here probs! Great minds. I am glad you aren’t beating yourself up. There is no need. You have it so well controlled I think you do fine as you are! 😘😘

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I always love hearing from you, Claire! Happy 20 sober months – that’s fantastic 😊. I treasure your support of me and my ramblings. Half the time I’m wondering if I’m the odd one out and nobody can relate and you always raise your hand saying I get it. That’s always a sigh of relief. I’m not alone and with our connection I smile big within!! Write as you will. Just know I’m grateful for you🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah thanks Dwight, that has really lifted my spirits and made me smile! I do relate and it’s lovely and heart warming to not feel alone on this path we travel! I am grateful for you too 🤗💕

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Great to hear from you Claire. We’re always happy to read about your life and thoughts, even if they don’t feel interesting to you. Huge congratulations on 21 months! 🤩💛🌟

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cheers, you! While I have fallen from blogging long time back, I have read posts here and there. You and I started at the same time, with Jim’s encouragement. Sadly, I fell and I am trying again to figure out how to quit for good. I am not in a bad state, but I know I drink too much at times, and need to give it up. I’ll keep trying. But back to you, congratulations on 20 months. As for the “change of life” you’ll power through it, and be stronger for it!

    My best,
    Lia

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hiya. It’s such a tricky thing to work out. I have had lots of yearnings to drink again recently which I know is not unusual. In all honesty it’s only fear that stops me! Fear that I would be back to square one, or worse! I don’t think I could do this again and I don’t want to risk the positives I have from being sober. You’ll get there at some point, wherever ‘there’ is for you. It might be moderation, it might be total abstinence. It’s different for everyone. Always here if you need support 😄😄

      Liked by 1 person

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