I’m going to start by being totally honest because this blog is partly for me to journal what’s going on and there is nothing to gain by pretending to myself and others that things are going swimmingly.
On Wednesday evening I had a drink. A few glasses of wine at the work ‘do’ after our ‘away day’. I’d given three presentations, had planned the day and was really happy with how it all went. Sat around long tables with 17 others, the wine was poured and I drank. I don’t know why. I didn’t even really enjoy the actual drink itself. But I did it and yesterday I felt terrible. I was disappointed with myself; jaded, tired and feeling generally crappy. It was also my son’s 16th birthday which made me even more cross that I’d allowed it to happen,
Anyway, I made a decision not to dwell on the mistake or head down a slippery slope. I forced myself to stop the self pity, though I felt like a big cloud hung over me all day. Birthday celebrations were fun and S enjoyed himself. Best of all, I did not drink.
This morning I woke at 7.30am. I had a day off work and I felt great. Completely different to yesterday. The black cloud lifted. My mood shifted up a gear and I even went for a 3 mile run after I took my friends dog for a 2 mile walk. I know made a mistake and I’m not happy I did, but I don’t want it to throw me off course. It was not the right thing to do, but it’s done now and I didn’t get anything positive from the actual drinking, other than a deeper sense of conviction that sobriety is the way forward for me.
Love Claire x
Ditching the Wine 
Congratulations on reframing the mistake and moving forward, that’s the best way to approach it !
And oh my goodness… I couldn’t run 3 miles to save my life 😂 big respect for that !!!
Big hugs from France
Xxx Anne
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But you could pull a handstand out the bag .. I wouldn’t have a hope of doing that xxx
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Hahaha not without a wall 😉
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A wall is going to make no difference to me! 😂
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You help yourself and others with your honesty! Thank you for sharing. It’s good to see you Claire!!💜
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There’s no straight line to success! Plus you chose no self pity and to move on, that’s freaking great! Right there shows what strength you have. ❤️ When I run I only run half a mile, can’t imagine 3, that’s awesome! You are killin’ it my friend! 😘
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Thanks so much.
I loved to run 🏃♀️ and when I get in the zone I’m happy. I just started again after years of not doing it. It was good, felt like freedom (until I couldn’t breathe and legs gave way 🤣).
I love that! No straight line to success. and success looks different for everyone I guess!!
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So awesome! I even have that quote on a sweatshirt!
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Thank you for your honesty 🙂 I just read a sentence in Carolyn Hax’s column (Wash. Post) that relates: Every time you cave, you teach her how hard she needs to push to change your no to a yes. In my experience, increasing my “conviction” wasn’t enough. I had to have more strategies and tools. Every time i recognized some dynamic prior to having a drink, I tried to build structure to support me and prevent my caving the next time. Wolfie was (still is) entirely capable of doing an end run around my “conviction.” You can do it! Adrian XO
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I like it! There are definitely dynamics and the voice in my head that is oh so convincing. I’ll keep
going though. I know it’s worth it. Xx
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Stepping stone to greatness for sure❤️
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How are you doing chief?
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Not mistakes, just a temporary diversion. You can do this xx
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❤️
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it was and is so much better ( for me anyway) to read about all of the ups and downs. As you know, when i started my blog i was 6 months sober and desperately trying to find support. I found this wonderful community here. I remember we had quite a few in the circle at that time and for most of 2020. The ones that helped me the most were the those who were didnt have a perfect path and talked about their failures as well as successes ( more realistic ).Sadly,I started noticing more and more disappearing from here over time and often wondered/worried what happened to some of them( still do actually) . I’m so glad you are back here and posting along the way . I think you are doing great! Hugs!
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How’s it going? Sending hugs.
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Hi Claire I found your blog today and have been enjoying reading it, I totally understand the downs as well as the ups, I’m on day 3 today and this has got to be more than my fifth attempt at seriously ditching it, I’m telling myself it’s a 100 days challenge but I already know that I am incapable of moderation so who knows where it will lead.
I can only take one day at a time and being with others and reading these stories gives me so much motivation. I hope you’re well x
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Hi
I really hope it’s going ok for you. I’m not overly successful at the moment and back drinking and I wish I’d never started again 18 months ago!! It’s so much tougher this time round for some reason. Glad my blog helped. I have enjoyed writing posts over the years and mostly communicating with the lovely people here xx
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Hey Claire,
Wanted to check in on you and realized your last post was some time ago. I’ve been absent from WP for a long time as well, but still think about you, cheer you on and support you! Drop a line if you have the time. Hugs and good thoughts 💛🌟
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Hey Collette
So good to hear from you. I have been absent but decided to reconnect today and there was your message. So lovely ☺️
I’m doing good. I went to an AA meeting on 30th December after lots of failed attempts to get sober again. I haven’t had a drink since. I’m really enjoying the meetings and have met some amazing people. I feel so much better and am taking it all one day at a time.
How’s you? Xx
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So happy to hear this, Claire! Hope to see you on WP again so we can reconnect! Have a great weekend!
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