Half a Century

Gosh, after all this time I’m not sure where to start. I won’t try and fit it all into one post. I’ll take my time. Slowly does it and all that.

It’s funny really. I feel quite nervous writing a post again. What’s that all about? Maybe I’ve forgotten how you do it, the sorts of things to talk about. What if all my blogging buddies have disappeared? 🥹 Maybe I’ve let people down by being absent!

First off, I have really missed everyone. My blogging tribe, sober or not, have been so important to me over the past few years. My life line on more than one occasion. I want to spend some time catching up with everyone, reading their blogs and picking up with my community once more. Therein lies the rub! ‘Time’. I seem to have had very little of it recently and I have been racing through life at high speed. So much going on and days turning into weeks, months and then bam 💥 a year has passed!

This past year has been tough. I know anyone who has followed my blog will be aware of my ongoing challenges at work and the inequality and discrimination issues I had been facing. I also reduced my antidepressants last summer and stopped taking them altogether in August. Sadly, around late November last year, I entered into another period of severe depression caused by work stress. I was signed off sick from work and took almost 3 months off. I restarted SSRIs … double the dose … and began (very expensive) therapy with a fabulous psychologist. I remained totally alcohol free and hit my 2 year sober anniversary on November 16th.

I have worked so hard to get back to good health. I have read so much literature on all kinds of things to help support my therapy and progress. I’ll share some of it over the coming months. It’s been quite a journey. I’m back in work. I’m managing much better nowadays and I think I have a far better understanding of my triggers, my behaviours and my responses than I ever had. I remain on high alert, making self care a priority and ensuring I practice self compassion. I look forward to sharing some of my experiences with this WP community once more.

Oh … and I turned 50 on May 3rd! 👵🏻 (hence the title)

Love Claire x

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17 thoughts on “Half a Century”

  1. Congratulations on getting better! It’s good to hear from you. I also quit my SSRI last year and got very depressed. I am going to a counselor now and re-started the SSRI and will be 2 years sober on May 24!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow … we are like twins Linda. Thanks for the comment. Well done you. Sometimes we need to take all the help we can get and focus on mending ourselves x

      Like

  2. Happy Belated Birthday! We are so glad to hear from you, you have never let us down! We all go through life and I’m so happy your doing good. It is a rough road. I admire your preservation. You can only light us up now! So glad you are back!!! ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy 50th Claire! Very sorry to hear about the rough waters. Sounds like you are making good progress with your health and that makes me happy. We are here for you. Bright days ahead are all yours! I feel and know it!! Embrace and release that warrior goddess from within.😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy 50th!
    I’m 5 months older than you, lol.
    I have decided an antidepressant will be part of my life. Episodic depression can begin anywhere…and, like you, when mine starts it takes me down.
    Medication perhaps reduces the chances.
    Congratulations on 2 years sober. That’s fabulous!
    I look for ward to reading more!
    Stillness and peace!

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Anne. So lovely to hear from you. Belated 50th birthday congrats to you too. You are right and I’m slowly coming to accept that meds are going to part of my life now. I am unable to see the blackness taking hold until it’s too late and then I can’t apply all my techniques and learning. I’m ok with that now though. Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Happy birthday! I only found you recently, and look forward to reading your blogs as you have time to write. I’m 55 (the fifties are awesome) and 1.5 years alcohol free. Glad you navigated through your tough period and are in a better place now. Happy spring 🙂 Adrian

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